Go on and scream it from the mountains...

I don't know if it was the past Friday the 13th, full moon combo, but lately, I've had an array of negative emotions that flooded my heart. Anger, frustration, tiredness, isolation, and just giving up, everything in the toolbox of Satan was in full force. I didn't want to read, pray, listen to anything Christian. I just wanted to...just for a moment...live this lazy, uncaring, unproductive life (sound familiar). Psalm 55: 6-7 described precisely what I felt when it said, "And I say, 'oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest; yes, I would wander far away; I would lodge in the wilderness." That's not what the verse is exactly about, but it was what I wanted to do, disappear and hid. We all have those moments, or at least I like to think we all do, and I'm not the only one.

Much like God's people in the Old Testament, I too, forget very quickly all that He has done. I mean, God totally provided a way for my kids to go to great schools that will grow them in Christ and knowledge; He also helped us get our son's medical diagnosis my wife has been battling doctors and the school system years for; And by the grace of the Heavenly Father, He even HEALED my mother-in-law from a very aggressive cancer! But I still let the day-to-day, mundane things of this life take over and steer things aground. I drive 30-mins to work, so I have an uninterrupted moment to take things up to the Lord. And MAN, do I give Him everything in my heart. There are times that I sit in the parking lot at work wiping tears and snot, trying to put myself back together before I see my co-workers. A few days ago, I was pleading with God to restore my heart and rid these feelings I've had lately. I'm talking about cries that you read in the Psalms, with a pinch of desire Job had when he was reminiscing about his relationship with the Lord in Chapter 29. It was weird; nothing situational or circumstantial was going on in my life that would throw me into a whirlwind of emotions like that; it felt like a wave that came and went.

Satan didn't have my heart yet, but he certainly was trying to conquer it. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to fight! I'm not going to make it easy for him to take it. But our flesh is weak, and we need God by our side to fight. If I'm not walking with the Lord, what advantage do I have against the enemy? I realize that it's not always easy for someone suffering from depression or some mental health issue. In the wake of individual relationships I have in my life, the recent passing of a family friend's son, and the Pastor who suffered from depression, I strongly urge anyone suffering in that type of dark place, to seek professional help. My heart breaks every time I hear about someone trapped within themselves, but it was too late to help them. So what do I do when I can't seem to shake the hold Satan has on me? (Again, this is me. If you have any type or level of a mental health issue, please seek professional help):

Take it to the Lord...

Brothers and sisters, throughout the Old and New Testament, we see many examples of people pleading with the Father, it's beautiful, enriching, and poetic. I love and resonate with the Psalms because, at times, I feel that same emotional intensity of those prayers. My heart can become filled with so much conviction and hurt, that I can do nothing but scream and cry to the one who can restore. As hard as it may be, take it to Him. He wants to hear from you. God wants us to pray to Him, even if those prayers are filled with pain and anxiety. Your cries are proclamations of love and obedience to the Father. It shows that you need Him and His strength to keep walking in faith and hope. There's no shame. God's anointed were flawed people; they too relied on God in those moments of distress. So scream it, shout it if you need to. Don't let that hurt weigh you down anymore.

Remember...

Whatever the season or storm we may be in remember it's only temporary. Again, looking at the Psalms (they're a great expression of the heart and soul), we see not only the yearning for the Lord, but also praise for all that He has done, "I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy" (Psalm 77:11-13). Before, after, and during His ways are holy and good for those who believe Him. We have a Lord that seeks after us. How beautiful is that! God is looking for you and me!? He cares how you feel; He cares how you hurt, He won't leave you there in that low valley but instead, take you to the top of the mountain to see that gorgeous view he created. Let those moments of trouble be an opportunity that draws you closer and nearer to God. It could be a chance to realize how much we need and depend on the Father. The spiritual battle is a war-zone. At times, I seriously wrestle with the thoughts of "is Christianity being worth it sometimes" (just being real). But I always look back to what He has done in my life, and I appreciate it all. As I remember these truths, it doesn't change how I feel sometimes, and I still feel stuck. That's why I need the help of others in my community to remind me of those same truths I can't hear or believe.

Talk to others...

The watchful eye of a brother or sister in a community can save, protect, and heal on any level of struggle. The hardest step, I find, is often the first step of the individual that is hurting. How many times have we heard, "It didn't look like anything was wrong" or "He/She looked happy." Being in a community is super important. Brothers and sisters, let me tell you this, we ought to be more observant of those God has placed in our lives. Even asking probing questions and showing genuine concern for someone can save. Most of the time, people that struggle are not so quick to confess and share what may be going on internally and shaking their relationship with Christ. Adam and Eve hid from God until God called for them. God said, "Where are you?" (Genesis 3:9) and then they came out. People will hide and isolate themselves from others, so we have to ask people, "where are you?" I am not talking about physically but, where are they in life? Where are they in Christ? After they shared all they are going through, it is essential to remind them that God covers all their hurt, shame, guilt, depression, and anxiety.

Family, this isn't an easy road to travel with somebody. I pray, as we walk and talk with hurting people, that God guides our steps and conversations to heal spiritually and physically. I even ask for prayer as I listen to those who pour into me. God knows I need to hear from the LORD. Hey, I would love to hear how God is moving in this area of your life or others.